Err on the side of FUN

We coaches come to practice with the goal that swimmers learn something, and we tend to talk too much in our attempt to teach.  However, with young swimmers especially, we should remember that if we err on the side of practice being more "fun", the kids will return, and we will get another chance to teach them some more.  Less talking, more doing.  That's my goal this season.

About 8 years ago, a high school girl complained to me "Swimming isn't any fun. All you want to do is win."  First of all, she said this when I caught her hiding in the locker room when she should have been at morning practice.  Second, it has never been true that all I cared about was winning.  (And third, this swimmer has since matured and would probably be appalled at herself if she heard this story again.)

Actually, winning IS fun.  And so is trying your best and improving and learning.  And doing it with your friends on a team.  And getting in shape.  And doing different things every day.  The USA Swimming Parent Swimposium presentation at the November HOD (see the link to this off the landerswimclub.org website) has a list of what kids say makes swimming fun for them:

• Being with friends
• Coach compliments and encourages me
• Being known as a good swimmer
• Winning races
• Getting in shape
• Varied workouts
• Relays where team comes together
• Feelings of accomplishment
• Cheering for each other/coming together as a team
• Trying to improve my times; Being on a team

Often, when kids leave swimming, they return to it later.  We want kids to get the fundamentals of swimming, and we also want them to experience a wide range of physical and athletic activities, from dance and gymnastics to baseball, soccer, football, basketball, wrestling, skiing, volleyball, track, rodeo, music, drama, scouts, camping, bowling... so many other choices to explore!  So often, we see kids who swam with us when they were young, go off to do other things, and then come back to swimming successfully in middle school and high school.

Here's another interesting list from the symposium presentation.  We can do our best to make things fun, and kids and families may still choose other activities.

Why Kids Quit?
1. Takes Too Much Time 18%
2. Coach Was Negative 15%
3. Enjoy Other Activities More 15%
4. Swimming Was Boring 9%
5. Lack Of Fun 8%
6. Parents’ Emphasis On Winning 6%

What's the best mistake you made this week?

Mistakes can be the source of great learning.
We often think of "mistakes" as bad, and something to be avoided, or hidden, but I think of them as useful indicators of things I have yet to learn, or get better at, or understand.
Ideally, we live and work in environments where mistakes are ok to make, and there is space to talk about them, share them, analyze them, and become wiser from them.  Ideally, we aren't shamed or fearful or punished for them.   Let's try to make new and different mistakes.  If we find ourselves making the same mistake over and over, we just haven't yet learned the lesson that the mistake is trying to teach us.

This week, my best mistake was losing emotional control and yelling at a swimmer.
Again.
I got angry and yelled at a swimmer who consistently irritates me when he acts in unsafe ways and is disrespectful to his teammates.  I've tried many approaches in the last few years I've worked with him.... I ignore him, I talk to him, use logic, humor, positive and negative consequences.  Nothing has worked, and we repeat our pattern, he misbehaves, I yell at him.
Now, I am not a yeller.  I don't like myself when I yell.  first, it doesn't do any good, and second, it just reinforces what this swimmer wants from everyone, negative attention.  So, after I caught myself making this mistake again, I see that the true solution is to examine myself closer (why does this person trigger me so often?) and to shift my perspective to be grateful for this opportunity to really understand something, about both of us, but mainly about me.

"The troublemakers in your life are your best teachers."  (Pema Chodron)






"Do not wish that your problems get smaller or go away, rather wish that your ability to deal with the problems expands."